They're Baaaaack!!!

I've been reading posts from friends who are excited about the return of their Spring visitors.

One friend has a bird house that they have watched family after family of birds nest and hatch their babies year in and year out. They have been busy buying new feeders and feed for all their visitors.

Another friend lurks around her back yard with a camera in hopes of catching a glimpse of a red bird family that comes back year after year to add to their family.

They are excited and thrilled to hear the chirping and see the all the activities in their yards.

We, too, have spring visitors.

We, however, are not as excited to see these visitors.

They first showed up at our first home exactly 8 years ago. I know, because I was pregnant with Zman. When we first noticed them making a mud condo on our front porch, I was intrigued... until they began dive bombing us as we tried to enter our own home. Vince offered to tear down the nest as they were building but I felt somewhat of a kindred spirit with that momma bird. We were both expecting and getting our homes in order for our upcoming arrival. I couldn't evict them. So they stayed.

I remember Zman being only weeks old, inconsolable, and I, sleep deprived and overwhelmed. I remember walking out onto the porch trying a change of scenery to calm him. As I watched, the baby birds stayed nestled in the nest... until momma bird came flying in. Up popped 7 heads, mouths wide, all squealing. She would feed the ones she could and fly away. All heads would snuggle back down, safely hidden in the mud condo. Momma would fly in again, all heads would emerge with plenty to say, and momma would do what she could to console. This went on and on and on. It dawned on me then how I thought I was stressed out trying to keep one little one fed and safe. Imagine... SEVEN. At any rate, it was just the perspective I needed at the time. God is good.

Fast forward seven years. The birds have returned every Feb./March to add another layer to their mud condo. One day, I'm sure they are going to mud themselves to the roof of the front porch but it hasn't happened yet. But it is a mud nest with twigs and feathers on the inside. They stay for two cycles of babies and have a minimum of five to seven babies per cycle. The mess that they leave on the small entrance to my front door is bad enough when they are building... it is down right embarrassing once all those babies hatch and sit for 6 weeks or so. Once clean, that area is still stained... no matter what. Gross.

And let me just tell you, they are very aggressive birds. When they come back to town, they take over the block. Not just the momma and the daddy... they bring the whole dang extended family. You can't touch the grass in my front yard without 5 to 7 birds coming from all over to swarm and dive bomb you.

You think I'm kidding??? A nice gentleman neighbor came one afternoon while I was cooking dinner. Zman had answered the door and in the time it took me to get to the door from the kitchen, the birds had chased him halfway down my driveway. He was stooped over and his hair was sticking up where the birds kept attacking his head and pulling his hair.

Chance has had wars with them while he played basketball in the driveway. He would throw the ball at them and then have to hit the ground so as not to get hit in retaliation. It's like we house the bird mafia.

Last summer, right before they left the area, one of the baby birds got confused when a friend came to visit. I opened the door for her and the baby bird came right in with her. I panicked, however, my friend was as calm, cool and collected as could be. The bird flew into the school room and eventually landed on the blinds. My friend first took a picture (obviously a blogging moment) then asked for a towel. She calmly, gently wrapped the bird in the towel and let him loose outside. What courage. I would have locked the doors to the school room and left it there until Vince got home. Can you even imagine the mess???? So glad you were there that day, SW!!!

Well, I'm convinced the baby bird from last summer is one of the mafia family of this Spring.

Last Friday, the neighbor came over to bring some pics of the kids in the snow (busy day, last Friday) and in with them comes one of the full grown, condo building, birds. I know it was baby bird from last summer coming in to check out his old stomping grounds and maybe even claim some new territory. This time he went exploring. All the while, I kept hearing this horrible noise that made the bird flap and mess all over the house but also annoyed my husband, caused my neighbors to laugh, and caused me my fair share of Braxton Hicks contractions. What was that noise???? ME!!! Every time that bird even flapped a feather, I was screaming and squealing... much to the dismay of my husband and myself. I was shocked at how freaked out I was about this dumb bird in my house. This went on for at least 20 minutes before we got the thing out. We had brooms and swiffer dusters trying to guide it back out ANY of our 3 doors. It was nothing like the scenario with my calm, bird whispering friend back in the summer. What can I say... some folks have squirrel issues, I have bird issues.

And did I mention the bird c**p??? My walls were streaked and my floors splattered. I*C*K!!!

So, the bird mafia is back. I'm NOT "All a-twitter" nor am I buying food or feeders. I'm keeping my doors shut as much as possible and dodging and ducking when I do have to go out. Yes, I love spring and I don't mind watching all the birds that are in the woods over the back fence. I'm just not real fond of being bullied in my own home. Next thing you know, they are going to require I launder their feathers or something.

All of that said, I still can't bear the thought of tearing down the home they are trying to build for their expanding family... no matter how much they may bully us for the next 6 months. Just understand that when you come to my front door, you do so at your own risk. And don't be surprised if I motion for you to come through the garage. I've cleaned enough bird poop off the walls and floors, thank you very much. Opps, just found some more! Gotta go clean....